Monday, February 9, 2015

Tough Week

Extremely hard week for me because everything seem to fall into pieces... and just like the heading to this email, felt like I was pushing on a pull door! Here we go ready? ;P So, I got extremely sick, thankfully only for one day, but not being able to work and wanting to work is no fun... then we set a baptism date with K and then that blew up on us. The spirit was so strong in our lesson, K even got emotional, we set a baptism date, everything went great then on Saturday we hear from one of the members that at the basketball game this weekend she was telling everyone we are forcing her to get baptized. What?! Really, because thats what we do, we force people to do things, force them to take the lessons, force them to get baptized, urrrhhh and what bugged me the most is she didn't tell us, we had to hear it from a member! RUMORS! So yeah, heard she was bad mouthing us, bashing us as missionaries and worst of all bashing His church! So we called her and I'm grateful Sister Kennedy handled this because she is great at being right up front with people and I'm a peace maker which isn't always a good thing or I speak my mind and make it a heck of a lot worse, anyway totally laid it out and Sister Kennedy said it powerfully and direct, totally led by the spirit, "We represent the Lord. We are His servants, if you didn't want to get baptized you should've told us." Then K said, "I never said yes." Boy oh boy, so glad I wasn't the one on the phone right then because I would've blown up, but Sister Kennedy kept her cool and was like, "K you did say yes and you know you did, all of this would've never happened, we wouldn't have planned a date with you and planned out your baptism at our lesson with you if you would've said no. K we can't meet with you anymore." It was kinda awesome. :) I just can't believe she would out right lie to us like that but from what we've heard, its just like her to do this. Shes done it before. I just hope we didn't loose any member trust... What the what.... so frustrating... I mean its totally understandable for K to get nervous about it or maybe feel embarrassed? Idk, but I just don't get totally out right lying to us like that, we were there! And then speaking bad about His church and the members especially when the members have done so much for her. Why would you bad mouth the people who help you? Idk... fellowshippers, everyone involved, it hurt all of us. Kaitlyn will come around... maybe not for a long time but we have to keep loving her... even if that seems really hard to do right now haha 

Man, this week was just so hard and then to add on top of all of that stuff, all this week Sister Kennedy talked about going home... which broke my heart and made the work a lot harder to do because I felt like I was dragging her out the door... And I love missionary work! Its a blast! I just.... I don't think I've ever had a companion that wanted to go home before and to be truthful, that's never entered my mind as an option, so it was really hard to relate. I mean, I understand missing my family and missing home but I don't understand going home. I came out here and I'm going to finish but I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that Sister Kennedy has been hearing some bad news from home and feels like she would be of better help to her family if she went home. All I could do was pray for her and shared with her how being on a mission has blessed my family more than anything I've ever done before. I know that me being on a mission is blessing my family more than me being at home. It just really hurt... I feel like I've failed as a trainer because I haven't helped her catch on to the JOY that comes from doing missionary work. Its hard to give that desire of sharing the gospel that I have to someone else... they have to desire it too, I can't make her desire it, but I guess I can at least try to help her gain a desire, right? I don't know, it was just a hard week. I want so bad for her to experience all the happiness that comes from sharing the gospel, and I try to remind her of the good feelings that she has already experienced from being out here. Getting what she knows to be true to enter into her heart, helping her gain that knowledge that sharing the gospel brings happiness, getting that from her head into her heart. (Like what Elder Ballard said, "Our great need is to get the belief and knowledge that is in our heads into our hearts. Doing so anchors us in the truth." I feel like that relates to all aspects of the gospel and missionary work.) :) It will come... I know that will come for her and I know that when it clicks, it sticks. :)

Alright done with that negativity, lets get back to being positive! So Sister Kennedy wanting to go home, so I strongly encouraged her to call president, which she did! YAY!!! I am so grateful for him and what he said. From what she told me he said basically what I said about being out on a mission is the best thing you could do for your family but him saying it hit home because she seems more chill today and she is NOT going home!! YAYYAYAYAYA!!! :D I am grateful that she called him and that he gave her the direction she needed, she seems happier and more willing to try since she talked to him. Who knows, maybe she had to go through that so she could trust him faster than I came to trust him. I wish I would've trusted him and his calling a lot sooner in my mission.

I feel all is getting better now. Just need to stay positive, keep praying, and focus on the successes we had this week. Like Fay came to church! (We are helping her get to the temple) We gave a book of Mormon to Jimmy, and he accepted! So that is HUGE! We got a lot of referrals to contact and really, how could I not be happy? I know this is Christ's church, I know I am a daughter of God, and I know He wouldn't send me here to fail. He wants me to succeed. He loves me and wants me to be happy, He loves all of his children and desires all of us to be happy. His gospel and being able to do His work has brought me true and eternal happines! I know it because I've felt it. I continue to feel that happiness and I believe its only a preview of what eternal happiness must feel like! I am so truly happy to be here doing His work. I know I am where He wants me to be and I know He is shaping me into the person He wants me to become and who I want to be. Its not possible for me to not be happy. Yes disappointments, trials, and sorrows come but I know my Savior loves me and I know this gospel is true!! So this is how I feel... BRING IT ON SATAN! I know where I stand. I know who's side I'm on and there is nothing, no one, that can take that knowledge away from me.
See? How could I not be happy? Hehe :D

Super long email this week! Love y'all!
Sister Coats

PS: When we did 12 week yesterday we read PMG 10 A successful missionary, crazy how the spirit works. It was exactly what I needed. When we read Alma 8:14-15 & Helaman 10:4-5, I personalized it just for me and whoa, this is what I got, (its kinda goofy but hey, I personalized it! Enjoy hehe) Alma 8:14-15 "And it came to pass that while I was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul because of K and Sister Kennedy... The Lord comforted me saying: Blessed art thou, sister Coats; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God." Helaman 10:4-5 "Blessed art thou, Sister Coats, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments. And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for ghou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will." 

Picture... I know how you always want pictures mom so I had Sister Kennedy take a picture of me... I was sick. There ya go hahha :)

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