Friday, March 20, 2015
I am... out of it this week... Sister K is determined to go home and I can't help but feel like I missed something. We stayed over at presidents this week and he is so awesome. I am so grateful I got to talk to him. He really does want to help me. He said what I needed to hear. He reassured me that it is not my fault. Everyone has their agency and he is proud of me for the compassion and understanding I am trying so desperately to give. It meant a lot to me to know I didn't let President down but especially that I didn't let Heavenly Father down. Sister K's decision to go home has nothing to do with me because I did all I could (& I am still trying to do all I can) to keep her here. Something that broke my heart was when an appointment cancelled this week and she was relieved about it. That just killed me inside. I don't know... how do I help her? I love her and want the absolute best for her and so I am trying to help any way I can! I feel like simply...she doesn't want my help. President told me to just keep loving her and praying for her... thats really all I can do. I have never had such a hard time finding people to teach my entire mission! We are going to find those who need us! I hope Sister K will be motivated to work too... but its my own fault for letting all of that drama bring me down. I know there is someone who needs us and we are going to find them! I know everything will work out for the best and this is a learning process but man, right now I just, I don't think I want to learn whatever he wants me to learn right now! haha This is hard! :P Hehe just messin (kinda) but seriously, I know its for the best and I will be grateful for this experience, I just gotta remember the bigger picture of everything. :)
By the way, even though we are having a super hard time with investigators we are knocking it out of the park with the less actives. 5 less actives came to church this week! Arlene even came and Sister Kaplan I really believe had a change of heart during relief society. She was in tears and hugged us and wouldn't let us go. <3 Fay even paid her tithing!!! We had a pizza party with her since she is lonely and always eats by her self so we bought a pizza and watched the restoration with her, we had a ball! :D It was amazing to see so many people come back to church. Fay is going to go to the temple! She says its a must! Ahh!! I can't wait for her to go! :D
We got to go to the temple this week which I really needed. I needed that spiritual boost and while I was in the temple I felt at peace. All of that drama didn't get to me in there. I was able to relax and get recharged. I know Heavenly Father is preparing people for us to teach and its up to us to go and find them! While I was there I opened up to doctrine and covenants... it was amazing how what I read was exactly what I needed.
Doctrine & Covenants 100:12 "Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end."
I know He is with me. I know it. I am so grateful for this journey I am on. No way I'm gonna stop! He is with me and I am going to continue on with Him right beside me! <3
Even though I am having a little bit of a hard time I do know that no matter what may be in front of me, it is not as strong as the power that is behind me. I know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know they love us. I know our Redeemer lives and I am learning more about who He is and who I am everyday. I am so grateful to be on a mission. I am so grateful for all the ways He has helped me change and how He is continuing to help me change. Its kinda funny but looking back at who I was a year ago, I like myself a lot better now. I am happier and I understand more of who I am. I am so grateful for how He helps me change so I can be better. :) I know He lives, I absolutely know it! :)
Gotta go! Read the talk by Brad Wilcox "His grace is sufficient." Its an amazing talk! "the grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient - sufficient to cover us, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes."
Beautiful Twin Falls temple!! Where Heaven meets the Earth! Hehe <3