Friday, March 20, 2015

1 is the Loneliest Number March 9 2015

I am... out of it this week... Sister K is determined to go home and I can't help but feel like I missed something. We stayed over at presidents this week and he is so awesome. I am so grateful I got to talk to him. He really does want to help me. He said what I needed to hear. He reassured me that it is not my fault. Everyone has their agency and he is proud of me for the compassion and understanding I am trying so desperately to give. It meant a lot to me to know I didn't let President down but especially that I didn't let Heavenly Father down. Sister K's decision to go home has nothing to do with me because I did all I could (& I am still trying to do all I can) to keep her here. Something that broke my heart was when an appointment cancelled this week and she was relieved about it. That just killed me inside. I don't know... how do I help her? I love her and want the absolute best for her and so I am trying to help any way I can! I feel like simply...she doesn't want my help. President told me to just keep loving her and praying for her... thats really all I can do. I have never had such a hard time finding people to teach my entire mission! We are going to find those who need us! I hope Sister K will be motivated to work too... but its my own fault for letting all of that drama bring me down. I know there is someone who needs us and we are going to find them! I know everything will work out for the best and this is a learning process but man, right now I just, I don't think I want to learn whatever he wants me to learn right now! haha This is hard! :P Hehe just messin (kinda) but seriously, I know its for the best and I will be grateful for this experience, I  just gotta remember the bigger picture of everything. :)

By the way, even though we are having a super hard time with investigators we are knocking it out of the park with the less actives. 5 less actives came to church this week! Arlene even came and Sister Kaplan I really believe had a change of heart during relief society. She was in tears and hugged us and wouldn't let us go. <3 Fay even paid her tithing!!! We had a pizza party with her since she is lonely and always eats by her self so we bought a pizza and watched the restoration with her, we had a ball! :D It was amazing to see so many people come back to church. Fay is going to go to the temple! She says its a must! Ahh!! I can't wait for her to go! :D

We got to go to the temple this week which I really needed. I needed that spiritual boost and while I was in the temple I felt at peace. All of that drama didn't get to me in there. I was able to relax and get recharged. I know Heavenly Father is preparing people for us to teach and its up to us to go and find them! While I was there I opened up to doctrine and covenants... it was amazing how what I read was exactly what I needed. 
Doctrine & Covenants 100:12 "Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end." 
I know He is with me. I know it. I am so grateful for this journey I am on. No way I'm gonna stop! He is with me and I am going to continue on with Him right beside me! <3

Even though I am having a little bit of a hard time I do know that no matter what may be in front of me, it is not as strong as the power that is behind me. I know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know they love us. I know our Redeemer lives and I am learning more about who He is and who I am everyday. I am so grateful to be on a mission. I am so grateful for all the ways He has helped me change and how He is continuing to help me change. Its kinda funny but looking back at who I was a year ago, I like myself a lot better now. I am happier and I understand more of who I am. I am so grateful for how He helps me change so I can be better. :) I know He lives, I absolutely know it! :)

Gotta go! Read the talk by Brad Wilcox "His grace is sufficient." Its an amazing talk! "the grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient - sufficient to cover us, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes."

Sister Coats

Beautiful Twin Falls temple!! Where Heaven meets the Earth! Hehe <3

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