Friday, March 20, 2015

I Scream Part 1 March 22 2015

I screamed for a lot more than just ice cream this week. We got emergency transferred. I found out after President called and told us about the emergency switch that Sister Kennedy already knew that was going to happen, which bothered me a lot because she knew we were getting switched up and didn't tell me but ya know its all good because all I want is for her to be happy and now she is in Burley, a lot closer to where she can get some counseling and help that I can't give her. I believe this emergency transfer is for the best because now she is where she can get help and hopefully be a lot happier. I guess its just hard because I really tried, I tried really really hard to help her. President and the STL's keep telling me its not my fault but I don't know, I still can't help but wonder... On a more positive note, she is where she can get help and hopefully be happy! 

So this emergency transfer destroyed our plans for this week but I am grateful for the change because on exchange with Sister Draper, I was comforted knowing that Heavenly Father knows how hard I tried and she was such a support to me during such a horrible day. It was funny though how every teaching appointment we went to, we got ice cream, and on a hard day there is nothing better than some ice cream for comfort! Haha We had so much Ice cream I was sick but hey, I needed an all ice cream day. ;) Also with this switch I got to go to the temple again because Sister Owsley, my new companion, hadn't gone yet, so we got to go to the temple! The temple was exactly what I needed. I felt comforted, loved, and important. Heavenly Father knows me and He knows I gave my all and He is preparing the way for me to succeed. I just know it. Plus! Guess who was working at the temple?! The TURNERS! <3 Oh how I love them! Its just crazy to me how through little tender mercies like that, I know God hears me, He loves me, and He is with me every step of the way. :) I am so grateful to know that the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ is real. He gives me strength that I don't have and the hope to keep moving forward.

President in his email said this today, "We seek to hear that we can understand; to understand that we can grow. Job said that “to depart from evil is understanding” (Job 28:28). Abinadi chastised the priests of Noah because they had “not applied [their] hearts to understanding; therefore, [they had] not been wise” (Mosiah 12:27)" That lack of understanding is what leads us away from the truth. I realized I need to have a desire to understand. As I was studying in 1 Nephi 15 this week and Nephi's brothers were getting angry because of their lack of understanding. Nephi asked them if they had asked God, they basically said no, why would we? That lack of understanding & desire to understand, made them quick to murmur, bicker, & fight. Its so easy for me to be like Laman and Lemuel thinking, why should I ask God? Why this and that? But not actually having a desire to change my heart to understand what is being given to me. Another problem I have is I want to know everything now! I don't want to learn precept upon precept, line upon line, I want to know now! But if I did know everything all at once, how would I grow? Even though I don't like not knowing everything and having to work for knowledge, I am grateful for it because I think I appreciate it a lot more than I would if it was just given to me. I also don't think I'd be able to feel with my heart that what I am learning is true. I feel like the Lord reveals to me, in His perfect timing, in His perfect way, what will be of most worth to me at that time. He continually wants me to come to Him and how could I do that if everything was revealed to me all at once?

Something I am having a hard time understanding is why I wasn't able to help Sister Kennedy... I know Heavenly Father will help me understand even if that understanding is just to be okay with how everything worked out and who knows maybe I did do something for her! Always on the sunnyside right? :) Sister Owsley is awesome though and has a desire to work. Its been a hard week but I'm grateful its Monday, new week, new companion, new start! We are going to take Mackay by storm! I just know it. I hope I can help Sister Owsley love Mackay. I know she is missing her old area and it hurts to see your companion sad, but I believe she will come to love it here and I definitely know she is needed! :) So Anyway, extremely hard week, and Sister Owsley got sick her 1st day here so yeah... I'm dying to work but hey, I finished the new testament and now we are ready to get out and work! She is excited to work and so am I. It broke my heart when I heard her crying in the bathroom... she misses Burley... which is completely understandable, I just feel so bad because I just want people to be happy! So I got breakfast for her, made her bed, hugged her, and ya know, it will work out. I keep telling myself it will because it always does. We did get a new investigator and we have fun with each other. 

With all of this craziness I find comfort knowing HE is in charge and all I have to do is give Him my heart and follow Him.

Much love, 
Sister Coats
 
PS: Waiting for Sister Bly to send me pics from the temple, cuz yeah this is all I got haha Sorry I'll send them when I get them ;) 


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